This point of the semester reminds me of mile 20 of a marathon, which is 26.2 miles long. Mile 20 is notorious for "the wall": a depletion of energy, motivation, and a surplus of pain. It's too late to quit, and you know it will feel great to finish, but there are many physical and emotional barriers to keeping forward movement.
At the same time that you may be feeling tired, you are probably also in a place where you can be more of a colleague than a candidate. I encourage you to find ways to lean less on your teacher for everyday tasks, and to even volunteer to do more than you do right now. After all, s/he has taken great care of you so far this semester. In what ways are you feeling more like a peer in your department than a student teacher, through sharing ideas for lessons, working with kids, technological issues, etc.? Are there things you can do or share that might position you in that way?
It probably sounds strange, but actually doing a bit more, or, for a marathoner, picking up the pace, can actually make you feel better, and help get you through this difficult part of the semester.
I have had extraordinary luck with students these past couple of weeks, enough that my cooperating teacher has noticed. One student in particular is constantly absent and never likes making up his work. Two days ago, after he was absent, he comes rushing into the classroom before homeroom asking if I had work from the days he missed. I was shocked because 4 weeks ago, that would have NEVER happened. I also had another student, as I told you all in class, who is taking his lessons from class and applying them to his own writing outside of school: for a book he wants to write. What I have noticed is the impact I am making on my students, one that I feel teachers who have been teaching for at least a year or so start to see—something they see AFTER training and student teaching are over. It made me feel accomplished that my teaching was positively impacting my students; they were learning from lessons I created. In fact, my lessons have stopped syncing with my cooperating teacher’s. Since mid-way through October, I only asked her what books and stories the classes were reading and went from there, no longer relying on activities she has done in the past. For a while, we were using similar lessons, only slightly modified to fit my own way of teaching.
ReplyDeleteThis weekend, I was also invited to see a play held by the students. I did not go as a random guest, I went as their teacher. And that feeling was pretty awesome. Parents got to see my face outside of open house or a couple of teacher conferences. I saw myself as part of a much larger community that expanded outside of that little classroom I spent 8+ hours a day in.
I even have teachers ask ME for ideas sometimes. One English teacher saw one of my lesson plans and claimed that they wanted to try the lesson themselves.
What I understand is the community at this school is absorbing me in far greater than I thought it would. They accepted me back in September, but I truly am immersed in it now than I was even mid-October. I wonder…how it will feel once December is here.
I love the student acting worried for once as he looks to YOU to tell him what he missed! He senses you could help-that is crucial! I just got an email from a student asking me if I would help her edit her thesis statement for her senior project research paper due tomorrow. I was thrilled, to say the least!!
DeleteDanielle, I'm glad you are reaching out and doing lessons on your own, plus building that trust with students. It's also great you feel part of the community--you are no longer a guest, which is terrific :)
DeleteMy CT and I have had many moments where it felt like we were peers, and they come more and more frequently over time.
ReplyDeleteCurrently, students are working on their senior project thesis statements and annotated bibliographies. We collaborated to include having students blog regularly about the experiences they’re having and we decided we can use it to problem solve, as we hope students will be honest about any difficulties they’re having on this format.
We frequently discuss strategies for helping students through a variety of issues, such as college essays, seating issues, giving feedback, adhering to school policies, and many more. She listens to me throughout these conversations/texts/emails.
After we had to do the “Best practices” exercise, I shared all of them with her and she was psyched. She asked me to elaborate where possible, so she could implement these ideas. She also observes other classes on occasion, being clear that she feels this is ongoing in the life of a teacher, not just something student teachers should do.
She introduced the idea of having students design a Vine for their thesis statement, and I asked for control of the lesson plan, handouts, and rubric. I will accept any and all feedback if she happens to be present in class at the time. I introduced the idea of using the digital reminder site for this current time period. She endorsed it, wholeheartedly! We are truly a team, she and I. One I am very happy working with-I feel I can brainstorm, give and take feedback. I grade alone and sometimes we share feedback in this area as well.
I'm do happy to hear how far you have come Cindy! I hope the vines go well!
DeleteI like that you have set a collaborative tone, Cindy, as that equalizes the workload. Having two sets of eyes when grading papers is also terrific.
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ReplyDeleteI’m reminded of a moment a week or two ago. I was sitting in the computer lab writing out some plans for a lesson I was going to be doing soon and a class of students came in. From what I gathered they were only half of the class, as the teacher would only periodically come in to check on them. They began acting up a bit during the stretches of time when the teacher would remain in their classrooms. One student even began blasting music. I turned around and told which ever student it was to turn off their music, as I recalled the teacher telling them they couldn’t use music. The response was immediate. Whoever it was turned off their music, one student even said “Oh man I didn’t know there was a teacher in the room”, and the students to began to focus a bit more on their work.
ReplyDeleteIt was at that moment that I realized I’m not just a student teacher to the 85 students I teach, but I am a student teaching to the school, and can assert the authority given to me, and help students who aren’t mine at any point. Over the course of the period I spent in the computer lab a few students who I’d never really seen before asked me for help. It was mostly computer stuff, or working the printer, but it was validating to know that student who weren’t mine felt comfortable coming to me for help.
Flash Forward to the following wednesday when advisory meets. I usually sit these out and observe since they mostly have to do with constructing their graduation portfolios, something I know very little about and felt uncomfortable with the idea of taking on a task like that which might hinder a student in accomplishing their graduation requirements. I have since decided that, although they are not technically “my students”, I could still help. I asked my CT what I could do to help, she broke down what the students needed to do during that period, and I went to work. I stumbled a little bit, but in the process I learned a lot about their requirements for graduation, something I wouldn’t have if I didn’t get involved. I think the students were relieved to have someone helping them, and it made my CT’s job easier because she could focus more on the ELL students she had while I took over helping those who weren’t ELL. In the future meetings I want to make it my goal to be more productive in advisory, that way I get a more grounded view of how portfolios work, and I can make it easier on my CT when she runs those meetings.
"“Oh man I didn’t know there was a teacher in the room” that is AWESOME that they saw you as a teacher right away, even though they weren't yours! Must be that awesome teacher voice you have been working on!
DeleteLike Danielle, I love that quote too! It sounds like you are being absorbed by the community as well, which is particularly important when it comes to extended student teaching. Good job lending a hand on the portfolios--this too will come in handy when you are subbing next semester.
DeleteIn my high school placement, I felt like a colleague with my CT pretty quickly. She had five different preps, so the classes I taught were entirely different than the two she maintained. I was armed with the arsenal of worksheets and handouts she had used to teach the content I was teaching in the past, but the day-to-day planning was done entirely on my own from the beginning. Of course, I would ask for input and feedback often, but it felt like equal parts partnership and mentorship only after a few short weeks.
ReplyDeleteI’m having a very different experience in the middle school. My CT has five classes of 7th grade English – all the same prep. Logically, she has them all working on the same material at the same time. There are variances – a lesson that may take one class one day may take another two or three – but they generally all get caught up and stay on the same page. Because of this, I have been struggling to take control of my classes. I want to make sure my lessons are in line with hers while still making them my own. It is also a challenge because the content I’m teaching is nothing I can remember learning and have never taught. Starting tomorrow, we are doing an entire week of grammar, a skill that I feel I possess but am not 100% confident in teaching.
A lot of what we’ve been doing is the “I do, you do” method: Theresa teaches a lesson one period, I teach it the next. This is the plan for tomorrow and maybe Tuesday of this week, to get in the swing of things, then I will begin making lesson plans that are entirely my own again by the middle of the week. I’m excited to see what suggestions or modifications Theresa will make based on what I do.
That being said, I still feel like a colleague to her in many ways. She will leave me alone with classes, which shows me that she trusts me with her students. She has complimented my ability to work with them and teach them on my own. Several times, she has noted that she’s “not worried” about me, which feels great. I’m excited to begin planning my own lessons so I can prove to her (and mostly, to myself) that her encouragement is not misplaced!
I'm so glad to hear how well you found yourself in your second placement. I wonder if, after we finish student teaching, we will be able to find our "zones" again quickly! Good for you!
DeleteI'm not worried about you either, but I look forward to the time when roles are reversed and you are doing the "I do" part :). You have experienced very different approaches, which is inherent in moving from high school to middle school. wonderful, but also tiring!
DeletePersonally, my thoughts on this issue went back to a week or so ago, when in passing one of the teachers in the school mentioned that she was having trouble setting up her electronics, and I volunteered to help her hook everything up. I did, even getting her a nice setup, with three possible inputs to switch between on her projector. I have since been called in multiple times to do things like this. Yes, I have somehow stumbled into the role of “tech guy.” I did not see that coming.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things my host teacher has been emphasizing from the beginning of the semester is that I should build professional connections among the other faculty and staff, and that I should be seen as a teacher by the students. It was over a month into school before most of the students even realized that I was not a full-time teacher. So, because of this, I have sat in on committee meetings, made recommendations to various peoples and committees, volunteered to chaperone and supervised students at a dance, and in non-instructional capacities. It has been fun, and I have met some very knowledgeable and helpful people that I can talk to for yet another set of eyes.
I will say that my host school has been wonderful at accommodating me, and allowing me these opportunities. They seem to want me to experience as much as I can, and I have been asked for input before.
I have also swapped lessons and materials with some of the teachers in the department, and it was admittedly very exciting to have another teacher use something that I planned. It was almost like a validation that the lesson was good. It has been an experience I enjoyed, and if I go home feeling like a member of the department, then it is all due to the people I have met.